GIFTS THAT REALLY GIVE

We are smack in the holiday season.  Shopping for that perfect gift is always so stressful.  And sometimes we have friends that have it all.  What to buy?  NOTHING!  The best gift we can give is ourselves.

What ever happened to those laid backdays? We are just too BUSY.  And I realized that all my friends and family are in the same boat.  Schlepping their kids back and forth to every activity they have enrolled them in.  Working, cooking, cleaning, shopping, going, going, going......

I had done this a long time ago for some friends, and I have repeated it several times for different folks. 

My friends names were Leon and Wanda. They had 3 little ones at the time. I didn't have any kids back then so I was being brave.  I was going through some real hard financial times, but I loved them dearly.  Their 10th wedding anniversary was coming up and honest to God, I could not afford a gift.  But I came up with the idea to offer myself to babysit the kids so that they could have a night to themselves.  When I made the offer as an anniversary present their jaw dropped.  First of all they thought I was crazy for wanting to take care of 3 kids, but they were also afraid the kids were going to hurt me :-)  But after much convincing they agreed.  The kids were going to come to my house and have a sleep over.  This way the parents could wake up to a quiet house and have a relaxing cup of tea.  We packed the kids stuff along with a huge list of do's and don'ts and off I went with 3 kids in car seats.  I won't lie to you, it was a very long night for me. But in my heart I was so happy that I gave the parents something they hadn't had in a long time.  A DATE.

The next day when I took the kids back, Leon and Wanda were all smiles (wink wink ;-).  They told me that the best thing about the whole night was either having uninterrupted conversation and not have a little one screaming "MOM" all the time, or not saying anything at all and just enjoying the quiet and each other.  They told me it was the best gift out of all they had received.

Another time was with my friend Glenda.  She had so much going on in her personal life and with 2 babies of her own.  Her house was taking the toll.  So one day I came over with cleaning tools in hand and we attacked her kitchen.  We blasted the music and had a ball cleaning.  Yes it was a bit of work, but it was a gift of love and support.

My neighbor Randi didn't know how to cook fish and her husband goes fishing all the time. I offered to come over one night and cooked it for her.  I wrote down the recipe too.  And when her husband came home, he was happy to see his prize catch on the menu.

DO SOMETHING KIND TODAY IDEA:
Write out some coupons to give as gifts. It doesn't have to be for Christmas only.  It came be for any occasion. A coupon can be good for babysitting one afternoon, or if you are brave enough, a full night.  A coupon to help clean up.  Or a coupon to help a friend cook for the family one night.  How about a coupon to offer pet sitting if you know your friends are going to go away? Save them the boarding money.  It is about you giving of your time and yourself.  Try and beat that Wal-Mart.

Can we count? 1, 2, 3 , 4 .......

Why do supermarkets cause so much stress to a lot of people?  I must be weird, but I love going to the supermarket. I go almost every day.  The cashiers know me by name.  The smell of fresh produce as soon as I walk in is enticing. Choosing the right shopping cart that doesn't have the twisted wheel can be a challenge, but hey at least it rolls.  And having "THE SHOPPING LIST" in hand is a must even though I never stick to it.

I always try to go in for one or two items but I end up leaving with 20+ items or more.  Since my husband is a chef, our world revolves around food.  I try with all my might to avoid the aisle with the International Foods because it has all the different sauces. Sauces from India are my latest craze.  Just add the sauce to browned chicken with a side of rice, delicious.  And I avoid the bakery.  I love breads with garlic and herbs baked right in to dip in olive oil and balsamic vinegar.  But the carbs are showing all over my body.

As I go up and down the aisles I notice that all the registers are empty.  But as soon as I finish gathering all my goodies and head to the check out area, everyone in the supermarket has the same idea too.  Haven't you noticed that whenever you go shopping, everyone seems to head to the registers at the same time? Why is that? But the few times that I do go into the supermarket to only pick up the one or two things I need, the lines are already long with people pushing shopping carts filled to the hilt.  I hope against hope that by the time I walk the few aisles that the lines have shortened.  But reality is they don't. 

Even the 20 items or less express lane has folks in line ten deep.  We look at their carts and start counting how many items they have to see if they are being honest and have the right to be in the express lane.  1, 2, 3, 4 .........21.  What?! 21 items? Really? How dare they.  Let's be honest, we have all done the counting.  Unfortunately with this economy stores are cutting back on personnel and supermarkets are no exception.  So even the express lane is sometimes closed. And I can't stand the self service lanes. So robotic.

DO SOMETHING KIND TODAY IDEA:

So what is a shopper supposed to do? Inhale, relax, exhale, relax.  And STOP COUNTING!.  Be nice at the check out line.  Read a magazine instead.  A few extra items in their cart won't make the world come to an end.  And if you are one of the folks like me that has an overflowing shopping cart, let the person behind you that is carrying a few items in their hands go in front of you, especially if they are elderly or dealing with babies.  The times I have let a person go ahead of me in line surprises the heck out of them.  They always ask, "Are you sure?".  Of course I am sure.  It warms my heart to see their smile when they say Thank You.  Because something that costs nothing is worth a lot.  A little kindness can make their day and mine.

MIRROR MIRROR ON THE WALL, WHO'S THE FAIREST BLOWFISH OF ALL?

What in God's name is wrong with Hollywood? Who was the idiot that said "puffy" lips were sexy? They all look like blowfish now.
I looked up the word puffy in the dictionary. 
Puffy: inflated, distended or swollen. Fat, plump. Also means conceited, bombastic.

Hollywood hates to be related to the word FAT, yet there it is. FAT lips.  I find it to be the most unattractive look ever.  And it doesn't stop there.  The stretching of the forehead, implants in the cheeks, implants in the chin, nose jobs that make you go huh? My co-workers and I spent a work break one day looking at before and after plastic surgery pictures of Hollywood celebrities on Internet.  We were either horrified, shocked or amused.  But never once did we say, "Wow, they look fantastic".  NOT ONCE! 

We all have what we think are flaws.  But ask a person that is sight impaired if they wouldn't like to see their wrinkles?

Now that I am 50 years old, there are bags under my eyes.  Playing around with the mirror I tried to slightly stretch the skin to see what I would look like.  That small stretch changed the shape of my eyes and it did not look like me.  I couldn't handle that.  And besides, I earned these bags :-)

One day watching The Oprah Winfrey show, they had a woman who had over 20+ plastic surgeries.  She wanted to look like a Barbie doll.  What she ended up looking like was a freak.  They had performed so many "fixes" to her nose that she could no longer blow her nose and had lost her sense of smell.  I can't even begin to list all the procedures this woman had.  But the saddest thing she said was that when she went home to visit one day, her father told her that she was no longer the little girl that looked like him. She was still his daughter, just not one that looked like part of the family.  And at that very moment she regretted the whole thing, but it was too late to go back. I have a big nose.  I know it.  But it is my nose.  Yet more important than that, it is the nose I inherited from my dad.  He has one just like it.  And I don't intend to change it. 

What is this obsession with physical perfection? I know I will never obtain it.  Too much work and I don't have the time or energy. And forget the money a nose job costs these days. I think I was a pretty woman in my younger days.  Now I know I am an attractive woman because now I know who I am.

I have a son that I think is the most handsome thing walking, but he needed a little fix in his teens. A $5000.00 fix.  He got braces.  That's it.  Because I always told him he was handsome.  I told him that God designed him exactly as God wanted him to be.  And who are we to argue with God?  Our job was to keep the design always looking cool.

I never had a daughter, but having been a girl growing up I completely understand the pressure of the media and your peers.  But what I don't understand is parents giving their daughters a boob-job (breast augmentation) as a high school graduation gift! I can just imagine what my mother would have said if I went to her back in the day asking for a boob-job as a present. I probably would have needed surgery due to 'other' causes. 

DO SOMETHING KIND TODAY IDEA:
Say some kind words. Tell your son or daughter, your brothers or sisters, nieces or nephews just how beautiful they are.  It doesn't matter the age.  Insecurities are always there.  Admire a certain feature they have.  Point out the common denominator between all the family members and make them feel connected and special.  Teach them to cherish the big nose. And if they happen to naturally have been born with "puffy" lips, tell them that Hollywood is jealous and is trying unsuccessfully to look like as good as them.
  

Caffeine Fix

In today's world people are always on the go.  The average amount of sleep in the USA is less than 5 hours a night.  We try to convince ourselves that we don't need to sleep the full 8 hours. Yet we spend the whole day sucking down coffee or sugary drinks to keep us going.

The coffee machine is the heartbeat of my house.  Either my husband or I program the coffee machine to be ready in the morning so there is no waiting for that first cup of joe.  God forbid we run out of coffee.  But if we do there is a back up plan.  It's the Dunkin Donuts drive-thru one mile away from the house.  I even change the driving route to work to make it there.  Once you get in line you see cars already waiting in front of you.  And in no time at all there are cars behind you too.  We are all on the same caffeine quest.  I have often looked through the rear view mirror at the person in the car behind me wondering if they were as tired as I was.  But what we all had in common was the missing smile.  No one smiles.  I wasn't smiling.  We order, we wait, we pay, we get our coffee and we drive off.

Now this idea was not mine, but it happened to me.  I was in the Wendy's drive-thru at lunch one day and there already were a lot of cars in line coming in from the main highway.  But from a side street an elderly lady drove up in her white car and waited patiently for someone to let her in.  Three cars passed her and no one had the courtesy to let her get in line.  I let her in.  She ordered her food. She drove up to the window and she paid. She was then given her bag of food and she drove off.  In the meantime I ordered my food.  When I arrived at the drive-up window with my money the attendant told me that the lady in the white car had paid for my lunch and that I didn't owe anything.  The attendant also told me that the lady had said she wanted to pay for my lunch because someone had shown her some kindness today.  I was stunned.  When I got my food I pulled out as fast as I could to see if I could spot her car at least to wave a thank you, but she was long gone.  For the rest of the day I had this wonderful feeling inside.  God recognized my kindness and rewarded me.  I have never forgotten that day.  But it has been several years now and I have been really remiss in "Paying It Forward". 

So back to the coffee.  This morning I ran out of coffee creamer.  I am lactose intolerant so I can't have milk in my coffee and I don't like it black.  I had to do a Dunkin Donut's run.  And of course the line is already 4 cars deep.  As I sat there I saw a car pull up behind me.  A big SUV looking thing.  I watched the lady through my rearview mirror.  She looked tired and was not smiling.  Then my Wendy's episode popped in my head.  It was time for paying it back.  I ordered my Chai coffee and drove to the window.  I told the attendant that I wanted to pay for the tab of the car behind me.  It was less than $5.00.  But that small tab made me excited and made me smile.  Then I asked the attendant to tell the lady that I want her to some day pay it forward too.  I got my coffee and drove out of there like I was in a NASCAR race.  I didn't want her to see me.  And now I understood why the lady in the white car drove off too.  A face to face encounter would take away the feeling of excitement for me and the surprise element for the lady in the SUV.   And I think the idea of paying it forward is lost if you can thank someone.  By saying 'thank you' it feels the deed is done.  Since I didn't have a chance to say thank you, it stuck with me all these years that I had to do something in return for someone someday. And I wanted her to hopefully thank God instead. 

DO SOMETHING KIND TODAY IDEA:
Buy the meal of the person behind you in the drive-thru line.  You never know.  It might change their day from grumpy to happy.  Or it might change their sceptical outlook of humanity by a small act of kindness.  It might even affect the attendant that sees first hand the face of the person giving, but mostly the face of surprise on the person receiving. They might want to get in the act someday too.  But it will definitely change your day. This act of kindness is a better jolt than coffee.

WAR IS INSANE!

I recently traveled to Mexico City on business.  Lucky for me I didn't have to endure an invasive search while going through airport security.  Just your regular walk through detector.  But my carry on bag was held for inspection.  The TSA agent took out my jar of cold cream.  The jar was bigger than they liked.  And even though I opened it and showed them that the content was very little, it was confiscated.  I thought this was crazy. Absolutely ridiculous and insane.  How much threat is Jergen's Cold Cream to our national security?  But I realized that war is insane.  It will never make sense.  Man hating man enough to kill.  My trip to Mexico City reminded me of how much I love my country.  Don't get me wrong, the people are warm and friendly.  And the food is out of this world.  But it is hard living according to what I am used to.  Just the traffic alone can give you a heart attack.

I don't know if you are old enough to remember a TV commercial that showed 2 opposing armies walking towards each other on a field.  And once they stopped to face each other, out walk the leaders of each army in business suits. They take off their jackets and they start fighting. Just the two of them. A good ol' scuffle. May the best man win.  And now that I remember that commercial, having Jesse Ventura or Arnold Schwarzenegger as elected officials would finally make sense.  See what I mean?  We become insane.

But there is a hard and sad reality to war also.  OUR TROOPS.  Men and women that risk their lives and put their families on hold for us so that we can elect the Jesse's and the Arnold's..  We have the freedom to vote, among other things.  A year after 9/11, my husband and I flew to Las Vegas for his grandmother's 100th birthday.  I encountered 2 soldiers coming back from Iraq. We were standing in line to buy beverages.  My husband told the cashier to charge him for the water bottles that they had picked up.  When the cashier told them what we had done, they walked over to us to say thank you.  I came and hugged them and said, "No, thank you from the bottom of my heart for what you are doing now so that my little boy won't have to do it later." 

DO SOMETHING KIND TODAY IDEA:
It is the holiday season and we can do something so big without spending big.
This is legit.  I checked it out.  http://www.snopes.com/politics/christmas/soldiercards.asp
For the 2010 Holiday Season, the Red Cross and Pitney Bowes are again sponsoring a "Holiday Mail for Heroes" program to distribute holiday cards to service members, a program that encompasses not just troops who are recovering in military hospitals, but also service members stationed throughout the U.S. and abroad, as well as veterans and their families. 
The cards should be addressed to:
Holiday Mail for Heroes
P.O. Box 5456
Capitol Heights, MD 20791-5456.
All cards must be postmarked no later than Friday, December 10, 2010.  Cards postmarked after the deadline will be returned to sender.  This deadline ensures enough time to sort and distribute cards before the holidays.
The Red Cross provides these additional guidelines:
DO
* Include your heartfelt sentiment and sign all cards
* Entitle cards with generic terms such as "Dear Service Member, Family or Veteran"
Limit cards to 15 per person or 50 for school class or business group
*Bundle groups of cards in single, large envelopes.
DON'T
*Send letters, care packages or monetary gifts.
*Include personal information such as home address or email addresses
*Use glitter - excessive amounts can aggravate health issues of wounded recipients.
*Include inserts of any kind as they must be removed in the screening process.

I'm off to buy some cards.

Please submit your comments if you joined me on this idea.

JUST A DIME

I turn 50 in a few days and I have been doing a lot of introspection. And I asked myself what matters in life? Seriously, do I really know? These past 2 years have brought it to the forefront. A difficult economy and the global instability are enough to make anyone crazy. I empty-nested. My only son went off to college. And I have a husband that works a horrendous amount of hours. I am grateful he has a job, but I have had to face many, many hours alone. So what do you do to make yourself feel better? I could eat chocolate or go shopping or get a pedicure. But that 'good' feeling disappears so easily. I would gain weight and add more debt to my credit cards and I sure don't need either of those things.

I always considered myself a kind person and would do a nice thing every now and then, but not enough to really make a difference. You always hear that cliche, "It starts with you". But you know something? It really does. WE can change our environment, our world.  One kind act at a time.

I was in the supermarket the other day and there was a lady buying a gallon of milk. She was paying cash for her purchase. Unfortunately she didn't have enough money. She was short a dime. The cashier told her she would wait for her to go get some money from the car if she had it. The lady said she didn't have it. I always complain about how heavy my pocketbook gets because of loose coins. We all have a few coins in our purse. So without saying anything to her because I didn't want to embarrass her, I handed the cashier the $0.10. The lady turned around and said "Thank You, you didn't have to do that." I said, "Don't worry about it, it's just a dime.". And her response to me was, "It is never just a dime."

The rest of the day I had the warm and fuzzies. And I want to experience that feeling more often. I want to fill the voids I have with kindness and warmth.  And I want others to join me in that experience. I want to post an idea of something kind to do every week and I would love to hear your feedback.

DO SOMETHING KIND TODAY IDEA:

Don't give the finger (you know which one I mean), give a hand.

Give up the road rage for one day. If someone turns on their car signal, don't speed up. Let them in. And if someone cuts you off, don't flip the bird, wave and pray they arrive safely.